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TOPIC: Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity

Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #367

  • Mr Incredulous
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The Daily Mash 03-04-14 - Roads Not A Velodrome

BRITAIN’S roads are not a specialist cycle racing facility, it has been confirmed.


Improved weather has prompted large groups of emotionless people with huge waxed legs to stage weekend cycle competitions on the country’s highways. These large scale migrations have been described as "helpful as playing tennis on a dual carriageway".

However officials have confirmed that roads are really designed for travel rather than amateur sporting events involving large clusters of wobbly people.

A government spokesman said: “Since Roman times, roads have been principally for the transportation of people and goods from point A to point B, rather than for buggering about on.

“Cycling is fine if you’re going on a legitimate journey, but if you’re just pointlessly "testing yourself’ against a group of similarly bored accountants it would be really good to keep that to a designated facility".

“You know those oval-shaped tracks you see on the Olympics, the ones that are designed for, and used exclusively for, bike racing?

“Well, you can book one for an hourly rate, it’s quite affordable if everyone in a group chips in.”

Car driver Emma Bradford said: “Horse riders can be a bit frustrating but at least the horse fraternity knows better than to do the Grand National on the A46.

“I find cycle race people rather hard to like, except the fat one who’s miles behind all the others, I feel sorry for him and admire his tenacity.”
Never cease to be amazed!
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Re:Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #368

  • TommyTank
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I hate being singled out, but at least I'm liked.


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I can't believe scummers are allowed on this site!
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Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #369

  • Rob P
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At least Ms Bradford will be admiring my highly stretched lycra efforts on the phoenix this sunday
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Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #370

  • Hawkeye
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:evil: I'm out bring the roads of Essex to a stand still on Sunday, its Spring Lambs Sportive :)

I can't be a proper scumer as I'm not an accountant :S
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Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #371

  • Kaff
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She has a point. It is annoying being stuck behind a bunch of bikers if you are driving.

Except of course if you are the one doing the riding, then all drivers are annoying.

I swing both ways
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Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #373

  • Madge
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oooh Kaff, it's the week for coming out!
Off with their heads!
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Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #374

  • Madge
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by the way, Kaff, I've got more karma than you... :woohoo:
Off with their heads!
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Re:Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #375

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I can soon remedy that madge mwoah ha ha....

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Re:Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #379

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Kaff wrote:
I can soon remedy that madge mwoah ha ha....

Careful Kaff, otherwise you could end up with Karma like TT.

Johno posted the article on FB earlier today so I thought I'd share it here - he loves Scummers.
Never cease to be amazed!
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Re:Wrong Forum - Message for the Scumming Fraternity 3 years 6 months ago #380

  • Kaff
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Madge started it Miles.

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Ride Info

Place

The rides always start from Chingford Plaines car park (see map below) which is opposite Chingford Golf Course and 5 minutes walk from Chingford Overground Station.

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Time

Be bike ready at the meeting point at least 15 mins before ride start time. Pedals turning at 11am every Saturday morning or 7pm most Wednesday evenings

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Ability

Saturday: medium/fast pace, distance approx. 18-25+ miles, duration approx. 4-5 hours. Wednesday evenings: fast sprint, distance approx. 10-15+ miles, duration 2-3 hours.

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Tools

The forest is full of hazards that can bring an end to your ride, so bring a mini pump, spare tube and multi-tool so we can all spend more time pedalling.

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Essential

It's simple NO helmet, NO ride. Other than that you can wear whatever keeps you warm, dry and happy. But, be warned some days the forest can be extremely muddy.

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Under 35?

No problem, we have regular riders who are 25 years young and some who are 50+. As long as you can keep up you are more than welcome to join us.

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Directions

M25, Junction 26 (Loughton & Waltham Abbey). From roundabouts, follow signs for Loughton A121 & Epping B1393 for 1.3 miles. Take 4th exit at Wake Arms roundabout for Woodford A104 for 2.8 miles. Turn right onto Rangers Road A1069, follow for 1 mile past the Royal Forest Hotel and down the hill. Take the first right onto Bury Road, continue for 200m and turn into the car park (see map below).

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About

MBRO35 (Mountain Bike Riders Over 35) are a social group of riders, not a club. As you may have guessed we are mostly over 35 years of age although some that ride are younger so don't let that put you off.

The group ride on a Saturday morning at 11am in Epping Forest which is to the North East of London. A lot of us have lived around and cycled in the forest for a good number of years and we are lucky to have some regular riders who know their way around the miles of singletrack very well. We ride all year round and usually get a pretty good turn out in all but the foulest weather. We are a sociable group and the emphasis is on enjoyment rather than speed or the mileage travelled. Having said that, the rides can be fairly quick at times and whilst we welcome riders of all abilities you will need a good level of fitness in order to keep up as well as a mechanically sound mountain bike. We ride mostly on the forest singletrack, the narrowness of the trails and exposed tree roots make for some challenging technical riding.

In addition to the regular Saturday rides we also do forest night rides on a Wednesday evening at 7pm as well as occasional away days or weekends. If you prefer your wheels on firmer ground, there is also a strong road contingent within the group that often rides out into the Essex and Hertfordshire countryside on a Saturday or Sunday. The road rides usually leave earlier in the day and head out via High Beech for trips of anything up to 70 miles. Most local rides are followed by a debrief in The Station House pub in Chingford where thanks to a very amiable Landlady we have a place to wash the bikes and store them in safety while we have a few beers and discuss the events of the day. You can also read about some of our most recent rides in the Ride Reports section on the forum.

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